


Stone Walls

by Camelabrakedabra



Series: Unfavourable Love [4]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: I don't think there's much else??, M/M, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-01-27 09:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12578980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camelabrakedabra/pseuds/Camelabrakedabra
Summary: Soonyoung had seen enough American shows to know that prison wasn't going to be great. Yet, the emphasis on relationships - be it romantic or in exchange for money - was there right from the start and naturally, being around a load of guys all day every day would always take its toll relatively quickly.





	1. Bonnie and Clyde

Soonyoung had watched Orange is the New Black and knew that handing himself in at the police station wouldn't be all cupcakes and unicorns, but he'd also had a strange preconception that perhaps the show was overexaggerated at times and he wouldn't have to worry about it all too much.

He was considered to be an 'accessory to murder'. He and his best friend had gone into a convenience store together so that they could purchase some alcohol for a big night in, but then it all crashed and burned as soon as they were inside the building. The cashier refused to serve them because they didn't quite look like they were of the legal age to purchase alcohol but instead of producing his ID and getting on with it, Soonyoung's friend took offence to it. Soonyoung had been a stupid kid at the time and jokingly pulled out a knife that he'd found in his pocket, which they had used to make sandwiches that afternoon, but his friend promptly decided that stabbing the guy and stealing the alcohol was a better way to go about things. Soonyoung had been too scared to report it in case his knife got him imprisoned too, but it still ultimately came to bite him in the ass.

So he arranged a day to go into prison and simply accepted that he sort of deserved it.

Despite the fact that his family knew what was happening, he could still see the disappointment in their eyes as they left him in police custody. Soonyoung supposed that it was probably hard for them to see him in that state, being taken away by police officers. Even though he hadn't actually committed the crime, he had still done something absolutely disgusting in both their eyes and his own. There was no denying it. He just waved them goodbye, guessing that they probably wouldn't want to hug him when they were looking so disappointed, and then allowed himself to be taken to the prison.

It was a rather relaxed journey, honestly. The person who took him there was friendly and chatted with him, thankfully not even asking what his crime was in favour of discussing what he could expect from the prison facilities once they arrived. Apparently, they were supposed to be somewhat relaxed during daily life, so he didn't have much to worry about, but he should still be careful about sharing his crime with people. There wasn't a lot of violence in the prison, but some people were particularly irked by certain crimes and wouldn't hesitate to voice their opinions on it. That was the main cause of any fights that did break out - that and the breakdown of inmate relationships - so it was just best to keep that to himself.

He would be shown around by one of the more experienced inmates in the prison. The guy was there for a long sentence, although obviously the driver wasn't going to tell him what the inmate had done to deserve that sort of punishment, and so he had been trained so that he was able to give inductions to the new inmates. After all, it was probably best for someone who was experienced in the daily running of the prison, from that perspective, to be the one who dealt with tours and questions. He and the other inmates had quite a lot of freedom, so it wasn't an issue for the managers and guards to trust them with jobs here and there.

Finally they arrived, and he went through the checking in process. It wasn't as extensive as he'd seen on American television shows - that was where he'd gotten most of his ideas about prison life - but they still needed to put all of his details into the prison and check that he wasn't bringing any illegal substances into the jail. One of the guards then provided him with a uniform to change into and sent him on his way as soon as he was ready, which surprised him as he'd at least expected to have been introduced to his tour guide by the guards themselves, as opposed to being left to meet him on his own.

Luckily, though, the guy seemed to be exceptionally pleasant. He was waiting for Soonyoung just inside the prison and greeted him with a bow, which was promptly returned by Soonyoung, before introducing himself as Sin Woojin. He was like the prison mom for everyone, or so he said, and was there to make life easier for everyone. If Soonyoung had any problems with anyone, he would be happy to deal with them in a non-violent manner, provided that he could truthfully tell him everything that happened. As soon as someone lied to him, his trust was gone, so Soonyoung had to promise that he would always be truthful about what happened. It was something that kept the prison running smoothly, and it had to be maintained.

Soonyoung was surprised by all of that. He'd expected that that sort of method wouldn't work in a men's prison where every crime from petty theft to mass murder would have been contained inside the walls at one point or another, but Woojin was absolutely insistent that it worked perfectly well so long as everyone did their bit.

The tour started with them walking through the rows of cells, with Woojin pointing out which his own was, and then the one that Soonyoung would be sharing. He peered inside to see a man already laid on one of the beds with his nose buried in a book, but when Woojin called out to him, he moved to sit up and greet Soonyoung. He seemed to be just as friendly as Woojin; there was no attempt at establishing dominance or making himself appear robust, and rather, he appeared to be excited to have a cellmate finally. Soonyoung could feel his worries starting to slip away as Woojin informed him that the guy would essentially be his prison buddy for the next few days until he had the hang of the daily routine. After that, he was welcome to either continue developing a strong relationship with the guy or perhaps he could find other friends within the group.

They moved on to the cafeteria from that point. This prison was rather modern in the way that it allowed people to continue with social eating. Others apparently favoured putting everyone back into their cells for mealtimes, but this prison stressed the fact that eating together was a huge part of their culture, so it was absolutely necessary to eat together if they wanted to bring a sense of community to the group. It was something that Soonyoung was actually relieved about; it would mean that everyone got to have at least three hours of interaction with other people per day, should they want it. Soonyoung had been certain that he was going to go stir-crazy inside the prison, but this suggested to him that it was going to be okay in the end. He could get through it all with those social interactions.

Although, it did raise some questions with him. Soonyoung decided to keep them to himself for the most part, as he didn't want to distract Woojin from their tour or annoy him with questions about stereotypes. He was sure that Woojin was a reasonable person, but Soonyoung was still relatively wary around him, as he didn't want to give the wrong impression so soon either. He ended up staying quiet as they continued looking around all of the facilities that the prison had to offer; laundry rooms, shower rooms, a gym, a barber, a small shop, all of the guards' rooms, an indoor mixed recreational room, and an exercise yard. Soonyoung was actually rather amazed at the facilities that were available, especially since there were a number of men in most of the facilities and some were actually happy to talk to Soonyoung about the use of the room.

For example, in the gym, there was one guy who was intimidatingly well-built, and as much as Soonyoung certainly wouldn't have approached him if he was on his own, Woojin had absolutely no worries about taking him straight over to the guy to chat. The guy's scarily hard expression quickly softened when he realised that he was being spoken to, and he confessed that he did have anger issues and had hurt a lot of people in his life, but he wanted to have the opportunity to put that energy into something good and train himself out of being aggressive. He was due to get out of the prison in a few months and was going to meet his baby son for the first time once he was free, so he wanted to make the best impression possible. In fact, he was even open to helping Soonyoung to work out if that was his sort of thing, which he appreciated a lot. Soonyoung wasn't all too fond of running or muscle building, but he guessed that it would be nice to be able to spend time with other people.

The tour ended up taking around an hour, according to the clocks on the walls. They finished at Woojin's cell, and he invited Soonyoung in to sit with him for a while, so that they could chat and he could get him some toiletries - Soonyoung had completely forgotten to pack them, so he needed to borrow some for the moment. In general, the place was incredibly clean, so he didn't have to worry about wearing any shoes in the shower if he didn't want to, but there were still some people who would try to use his hygiene products, for example, so it was recommended that he hid those. He would also have a towel and clean uniform in the drawer next to his bed, but Woojin recommended wearing one uniform for two days so that he could cut down on his washing. He slipped him some washing powder, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and body wash, just so that he could get started. His pocket money probably wouldn't be registered on the system just yet so he wouldn't be able to buy those sorts of things from the shop, but Woojin wasn't prepared to watch him suffer for up to three days until it was sorted out for him.

Then he asked if there were any questions. As much as Soonyoung tried to be modest about it and pretend that everything had been covered, Woojin could tell that he wasn't quite telling the truth and informed him that he was open to discussing anything. When there was still no reply, Woojin suggested that perhaps he wanted to know what he was imprisoned for, since the curiosity over that sort of thing was rather natural. Soonyoung's eyes instantly snapped open wide as he swore that it wasn't that and he didn't mean to make it seem as if that was what he wanted to know. It did calm him down a bit though; at least if Woojin was willing to tell him why he was in the prison, it sort of suggested that he wouldn't be insulted by any question that Soonyoung wanted to ask.

It still took a while for him to get his question out finally, though. It just didn't feel appropriate to ask it, as much as he was confident that it wouldn't be taken the wrong way. When finally he decided to bite the bullet and blurt it out, he watched as Woojin's eyes grew big, but he didn't receive the backlash that he'd expected when he saw that happen. "Prison relationships?" Woojin echoed as he adjusted his sitting position on his bed, "Are you talking about actual relationships or... you know... involuntary relationships?"  
"Well both, really," Soonyoung admitted nervously. His days of watching American programmes about going into prison had left him feeling rather anxious about the thought of any sort of prison relationship, despite the fact that he knew it was probably overexaggerated or very culturally specific. He knew that Koreans tended to be a lot more modest when it came to intimacy, but he still had the idea in his head and needed to confirm that it was wrong.

"Ah, well... It's very rare that there are any involuntary or temporary prison relationships here. There are sometimes more adult relationships where they're just friends, but it's in exchange for money so that one person can buy themselves toiletries, snacks or recreational items, but most relationships here are actually genuine," he explained. As much as Soonyoung tried to stop his own reaction from surfacing, he felt his eyebrows shoot up when he heard it. He'd assumed that it was more standard for relationships within prison walls to be temporary and with few feelings involved, but as Woojin continued to explain it all, he was quickly coming to see that it was more of an environment that normalised homosexuality. Some people really weren't into that and waited to get out to see their partners or start relationships, some were just doing it for some form of physical contact with another person, some people had struggled with their sexuality for years and chose to embrace it as soon as they were in that environment, and there were the few who just found it easier to pick up other guys in such an open environment.

It led to a question about Soonyoung's sexuality, although Woojin caught himself moments after and apologised for asking something so personal. It wasn't something that was generally spoken about out loud, so he completely understood it if he chose to keep that to himself. Yet, Soonyoung wasn't all that bothered about it, strangely enough. He'd gone to the prison with the intent of keeping to himself, but then he'd very quickly come to realise that perhaps it was okay to bond with people while he was there. After all, he would be in the prison for a while so there was no point in keeping to himself the entire time.

"I actually accepted that I'm into guys just before I came in here. My parents thought that it was a curse that I'd come out, so being asked to go to prison as a result of a crime that was committed two years ago was punishment for it. They're really traditional, so I think they just want to believe that it'll put me off guys." He watched as Woojin's face dropped for a moment, before he forced a smile and reached over to gently stroke the back of Soonyoung's hand.  
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, mine were the same. But they came to terms with it last year, just after I hit my ten year anniversary in here."

Soonyoung's eyes widened when he heard it, and Woojin just let out a laugh. "I know you're curious by this point. I was actually involved in a Bonnie and Clyde sort of thing, if you're into American crime as much as you're suggesting. Except obviously we weren't ambushed, so I'm in here and he actually passed away a few years ago."

That was far from what Soonyoung had expected, seeing as Woojin seemed to be so sweet and motherly towards the other inmates. He was the victim of his own mentality, he told Soonyoung; he was convinced that a person should do anything for the one they love, even if that meant robbery and taking lives. It was absolutely stupid, and he realised that that was the case as soon as he found out that his Clyde didn't love him as much as Woojin loved him, and in the end, they went their separate ways. Woojin was far past his life of violent crimes by that point and didn't wish to cause harm to another person again, and he'd even managed to find himself a boyfriend while he was in prison.

Of course, that sparked curiosity too, but Woojin broke into a shy smile as he insisted that he wasn't going to say who he was dating. It was something that Soonyoung would have to figure out, he told him, and they were relatively subtle about it as not to rub any of the other inmates the wrong way. Some of them were sensitive about the fact that they were away from their life partner, or they hadn't managed to get into a loving relationship for a long time, so Woojin always made sure to consider their feelings when it came to public displays of affection. After all, they were all a family in a crazy sort of way, so looking out for everyone else was necessary.

"There are some pretty nice guys in here if you're looking for a partner, though," he confessed with a smile, "I think there's a few who would certainly like to be around you. I have my own collection of boys, you see; around five or so who are basically like my children. And one or two of them are single and looking for a boyfriend, so if you're looking for someone soon to fill the empty void in your heart, I can get one of them to drop by your cell later." It was punctuated with a playful wink, which left Soonyoung's cheeks burning as he gave an embarrassed nod. Even if he didn't end up getting anything out of it, he figured that at least he would have the opportunity to give someone a chance.

It sparked Woojin's excited chatting about his boys, though. He confessed that he did have some favourites out of the few who he'd taken under his wing, since they had been cute and seemed to be absolutely petrified about their time in prison, but none of those guys were available for relationships. They were already seeing people and were utterly in love, so he wasn't prepared to cause any issues for their relationship by suggesting that they get close to Soonyoung too. It was awkward enough when couples broke up in the prison without it being the result of one person finding someone else that they were attracted to. Soonyoung agreed that it was probably not a great idea; after all, he didn't want to be the cause of any unnecessary tension, especially not so soon after he joined.

Woojin promptly started to quiz him on his type from that point, making sure to find out as much as possible in hopes that he would be able to be a matchmaker right away. It was quickly narrowed down, which Soonyoung could tell from the way that his smile grew every time Woojin found out an added bit of information. Tall, dark and handsome? Check. An incredibly stunning smile? Check. A gentle nature and affectionate attitude? It was something that he could ensure before they met.

Of course, it was incredibly obvious that Woojin had someone specific in mind. He wouldn't tell Soonyoung, though, just in case it fell through when he suggested that the guy go to his cell to introduce himself. It was something that might take a few days, since Woojin rarely saw him. He was independent but very loving towards other people, as far as Woojin had seen, although he wasn't too sure of the extent to which that would be reflected when he was in a romantic relationship. The guy hadn't really been in any romantic relationships with any other inmate so far, despite having been in the prison for four years already, but Woojin didn't know whether there was any specific reason for that or not.

In the end, Soonyoung began to ask way too many questions, and he was met with playful noises of annoyance as Woojin informed him that he wasn't going to find out anything more. He was promptly sent away so that he could put his belongings away before dinner, and nothing more was said about his potential partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is; a prison AU.
> 
> Originally this one involved all of Seventeen but focused on Soonyoung/Seokmin, but then that would break away from the theme of this series where no other Seventeen character is added - hence the fact that there's a randomly named guy added in, in place of Jeonghan and all.
> 
> I've done quite a lot of research today on Korean prisons but I'm hoping to keep a lot of it in the background because it's sort of hard to describe that sort of thing when your resources are in English by Americans who are being held, which is a bit different bc they get different treatment to Koreans in prison. So please excuse that as much as possible!!
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	2. Rosemary and Fred

It took a whole week for the guy to turn up outside of his cell, and Soonyoung swore he fell in love instantly.

In general, Soonyoung wasn't really the sort of guy to believe in love at first sight, or at least not that love that happened that quickly would last. He'd dated a number of guys in the past, and whenever he thought that he'd fallen in love with someone instantly, the relationship only ever lasted for a couple of weeks at best. He struggled with those sorts of relationships because he always wanted to cling to them desperately and do everything to stop them from ending, but of course, they always finished shortly after. It was inevitable, really; after all, it was stupid to think that a sudden, spontaneous attraction would be reflective of his future relationship with an individual. There was a reason why he didn't believe in love at first sight anymore, and that was down to the fact that it was impossible to understand an individual's personality until he got speaking with them. An instant attraction gave rose-tinted goggles that prevented him from being able to accurately judge them.

This guy, on the other hand, was a risk that Soonyoung was absolutely willing to take. He ticked every box right from the start. He was probably an inch or two taller than Soonyoung himself, but he was slimmer in build and had good shoulders. His face was also slim, although his smile certainly wasn't small in any way or form. It was clear that he was incredibly nervous about being over in the cell, but he was still smiling brightly nonetheless. He had pretty teeth, too; that was a bonus that worked in his favour, even if it wasn't something particularly huge. Soonyoung tried harder than anything to avoid drooling when he was staring at the guy, and it was clear that he caught on to that, as he shuffled a bit on the spot and reached up to run a hand through his own hair. Soonyoung's heart stopped for a moment when he noticed how sexy the guy was acting, despite the fact that he probably wasn't even trying to be attractive, and he honestly wanted him more than anything from that moment on.

"Soonyoung?" the guy called out as they made eye contact. He nodded, hoping more than anything that he wouldn't have to speak for the moment. If he could avoid it, everything would be perfect; he could already sense that his voice would get caught in his throat as soon as he was forced to say something out loud, and it was just made worse when he heard the smooth voice of the guy in front of him. His voice sounded how Soonyoung imagined touching silk would feel. It was like the sensation of his suede body pillow, from his bed at home, running over his bare legs and feet when he got home from work after a long day of walking around. It was the sweetest voice he'd ever heard, and it only served to make his crush hit even harder.

"Hi, I'm Lee Seokmin. I'm supposed to be escorting you to lunch this afternoon, apparently. Someone tells me that you rarely come out of your cell still, so I'm here to change that. I hope that's okay, but obviously if you don't feel that you're ready to come out just yet, I can wait for you." The smile came again, and Soonyoung knew from that moment on that he would be all over the guy if he was given the chance. It was like a flash to the future; he could see himself and Seokmin cuddled up together, sharing the warm embrace of new love. Of course, he was quick to hop out of bed as a result, and he promptly made his way out of the cell towards Seokmin. A momentary burst of confidence led him to gently stroke the back of the taller man's hand with his own, although he was faced with immediate disappointment when the gesture wasn't returned. It was moving too quickly and he knew it, but at the same time, he'd wanted to test the waters straight off the bat.

It was obvious to the friends that he had made that he had fallen hard for the guy already. Apparently, they all knew Seokmin quite well already, since he used to sit with them for a while, but then other things came up so he would shovel down his food as quickly as possible before rushing off elsewhere. This was giving him an excuse to sit down and have a proper meal, they told him, and Soonyoung was going to become the luckiest man in the entire prison. He'd been set up with a gentleman, as was evident by the fact that he'd gone to get Soonyoung's food and made him sit down instead of standing in the queue, and they were all certain that he would end up receiving some of Seokmin's food too.

That suggestion had frankly left him feeling a bit self-conscious, if he was being completely honest. Soonyoung wasn't exactly the chubbiest guy in the prison, but he did have a bit of a tummy. When he sat down, he was left with three huge rolls between his chest and waistband, and he could have probably fed a starving family of four with his gut alone. He wasn't exactly sexy or attractive, and being near Seokmin just made him feel even fatter. He pointed that out to his friends, groaning that he wouldn't be able to take the guy's food, since now that he'd caught an attractive guy's eye he needed to lose weight and eating extra food was taking him in the opposite direction to his goal, but it had earned a few knowing glances between everyone else around the table.

Seokmin was attracted to softer boys, or so they said. Boys with cute little tummies and something for him to hold whilst he was cuddling with them. They'd tried to set him up with smaller-built boys in the past but it had never really worked out. It could have just been a coincidence, obviously, but they were all pretty certain that he had a thing for tummies and thighs and the warmth that came alongside a slightly larger boyfriend. It had left Soonyoung embarrassed when he found that out, and even more so when Seokmin returned to the table with their trays and immediately offered up his pudding cup. The genuine warmth in his smile left Soonyoung's stomach mimicking the jelly cup, and he couldn't help but accept the offer, despite his earlier insistence against it.

He was probably the perfect partner, and Soonyoung found himself falling way too hard and way too fast. He continued to be sweet and loving from that moment on, even making sure to check on Soonyoung before he went to bed each night in order to make sure that everything was okay. He helped out in the kitchen usually, so he was even able to sneak him a few extra night-time treats here and there, too. It was, as a result, painfully difficult for him to find out why Seokmin was actually in the prison, just a week after he'd rushed into the decision that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

It was inevitable that something was going to go very, very wrong as soon as he made that sort of big announcement to himself, even if it was just in his head. It was essentially Soonyoung's fate when it came to boys. If he fell for someone quickly, something terrible would happen and it would result in them ultimately breaking up. If he waited to admit that he did have feelings for a guy, he would always end up waiting too long and the guy would move on to someone else. It was a cycle that Soonyoung had fallen into with no way of escaping, and it was only ever made worse whenever he came to the realisation that he could see himself comfortably being with a guy for the rest of his life.

The topic of their crimes had come up when they were cuddling on Seokmin's bed together. It was something that Soonyoung had been willing to do from day one, as he was so starved of attention that he needed to just be able to hold someone. He was generally an incredibly affectionate person in that sort of way, having always cuddled his mother whenever he went to see her, but admittedly it was a bit quick to be doing that with someone he barely knew. Usually, he would be a bit reluctant to do something so affectionate with another person like that, but somehow he felt as if he'd known Seokmin for years, both inside and outside of the prison. That was what set him aside from all of Soonyoung's past boyfriends; he truly felt as if they should have been together for all of that time, even though they probably wouldn't have ended up in a relationship under any other circumstances. They had spent several days around each other and he thought that they had covered most topics rather extensively, to the point where they could probably talk about each other's families as if they knew them personally, but that was the reality of being in prison. There was a lot of time where they could do that sort of thing.

Soonyoung had been rather reluctant to bring up the topic of crime with his new partner. It was something that he still hadn't even discussed with his friends, who had promised that they wouldn't judge him regardless of what he did. Despite what they said, Soonyoung knew that he would judge himself even if his friends didn't judge him. He was embarrassed about what he'd done and the fact that he ended up having to hand himself in, in return for a much shorter sentence, and he certainly didn't know how anyone else would take it when they found out that Soonyoung was involved in a murder. In particular, he was bothered by how it would change Seokmin's views of him. He would probably be disappointed and finish with him on the spot if he ever found out, Soonyoung decided, since his boyfriend was generally rather sweet and gentle. He'd even expressed that he hated violence, which just made it all feel even worse for Soonyoung.

Yet, there was no way to avoid it anymore when it was finally brought up in conversation and they were cuddled so close that it wouldn't be natural to suddenly think up an excuse to leave. That would make it obvious that something was wrong, which was something that Soonyoung hoped to avoid as much as possible. "I bet you probably stole something," Seokmin mused after he asked the initial question, "Or you took the blame for someone over some really bad crime. You're too soft to do something bad." His voice was so trusting that Soonyoung could feel his stomach sinking. It was going to take all the guts in the world to confess his crime, but he guessed that at least Seokmin would probably be the sort to keep it private, even if they did break up over it. He took a deep breath, braced himself for the disappointment that would surely follow, and then explained what had happened to get him into the prison. He was a victim of circumstance and stupid teenage decisions, he told Seokmin, but he could still see the slight waver in Seokmin's expression.

"Do you mind me asking what you did to get in here?" he continued before his boyfriend had the opportunity to question what he'd been told, in hopes that it would take the attention away from himself. Surprisingly, though, Seokmin stayed silent for a good minute or so after the question was asked before reaching the hand furthest away from Soonyoung up to run through his own hair. He let out a long breath, whilst Soonyoung simply sat waiting for an answer in complete anticipation.  
"What you have to understand," Seokmin mumbled, pausing for a moment before he continued, "Is that I messed up really badly and I'm not as nice of a person as you are. I wasn't lying when I said that I don't like violence, but you're not going to think that when I tell you what I did."

Of course, Soonyoung's mind instantly started racing. This was something that he'd certainly not expected to hear, and now he was obviously expecting the worst. He wasn't necessarily going to break things off between them, especially since Seokmin hadn't dumped him on the spot when he was explaining his own situation, but he was worried, to say the least. "I used to be married," he started with an awkward laugh. "Married to a girl, as you could probably expect. It was before I'd even considered what it would be like to date a man. But we'd been together for so many years, so I decided that I'd make it permanent. Two years later, I found out that her brother had hurt her when they were growing up. It was horrible to find that sort of thing out, but then again, it was something that I could work with. From what she was suggesting, their relationship had improved a lot as they grew older, and it wasn't enough for me to notice when we were in our early teens so it probably wasn't a huge issue."

He chose that moment to pause again, leaving Soonyoung to overthink again. He could tell that Seokmin was distressed over what he was saying, so he didn't exactly want to push it, but at the same time, he really needed to know how the story progressed. There was a minute of silence in which Seokmin tried to figure out his wording and his partner drew on his chest with a fingertip, in hopes that it would show that he was calm and so Seokmin should be too. Finally, it seemed to pay off, as he turned towards Soonyoung and offered a slight smile before continuing. "I was protective of her, so when she spent the week with her parents and came back with bruises all over her body, I was upset. And as you can probably expect, things hadn't improved with her brother whatsoever. It just appeared to be better because they barely saw each other and she lied to cover it all up."

"Did you fight him?" Soonyoung asked nervously, not really wanting to make too many assumptions but desperately needing to know, "I know I would've fought him if I were you."  
"Well, sort of. Except I hit him against a wall at one point and then kept doing so because I was just so angry and it killed him."

That wasn't really what Soonyoung had expected to come out of the story, if he was being completely honest. The way that Seokmin had said it sounded so gentle and innocent, much like his general personality, and every word was filled with remorse as he said them. It was clear that he'd made a mistake and taken it way too far, but he was accepting that he'd done something bad and deserved the punishment that came as a result of that.

Admittedly, Soonyoung wasn't all too happy to find out about that. He'd originally promised that he wouldn't date anyone with a history of murder, but clearly now that he was in the situation and he could see how Seokmin was still having to live with the guilt of what he'd done, he couldn't bring himself to cut everything off right away. Besides, it was to be expected that some crazy secret would come out, since he did rush everything. It was inevitable, really, and he'd come to accept that it was always going to end up happening when he fell for someone the moment he first laid eyes on them. On top of that, there was still the issue of Seokmin's wife; that was, unfortunately, something that crossed the line in his books, even if the murder didn't. He wasn't the sort of person to date a guy who was already married, and he wasn't all that fond of dating someone who was divorced, either.

He made sure to ask about that topic, though, just to be sure. Seokmin gave an awkward laugh as he hid his face in Soonyoung's shoulder, and it was clear that it was a bad topic. "She divorced me as soon as she found out that I'd be going to prison. The only downfall is that understandably, she doesn't want our son growing up around a murderer of a father."

Now there was the topic of children on top of everything else.

Soonyoung had done a mighty good job at ruining everything for himself so quickly by not rejecting the request to talk about what got them both in prison. He thought that perhaps it would be a lot easier if they had been together for a long time and then discussed it, when he could be absolutely certain that they shared genuine feelings for each other as opposed to just a bit of a crush. Of course, it would have all come spilling out after a while, but now he was feeling rather uncomfortable and awkward and had so many questions that he wanted to ask.

The topic of children just made that feel even worse. Soonyoung was dreadful with kids, even though a lot of them did like him, and he hated the thought of being around someone else's child and having to make a good first impression and potentially be a sort of parent to Seokmin's kid if things did end up working between the two of them when they managed to get out of prison. It was even worse that he would probably have to watch Seokmin missing out on his kid's milestones before that, too. There was a chance that Seokmin wouldn't ever see his kid as it was, but then if the kid came to him as an adult in order to find that missing piece of himself, Soonyoung could tell that Seokmin would feel awful about not seeing everything from his first day at school or his first love. Seokmin was just that sort of guy to be particularly sentimental about that sort of thing, and Soonyoung guessed that he would end up being really upset as a result of everything.

In the end, he decided against asking the questions, in favour of going to his room for a while. He decided that it was best not to sugar coat it and pretend that everything was okay for him; after all, the conversation had screwed with his head and it was only fair to let Seokmin know that. He made sure to let him know that it wasn't anything to say that they were going to break up for good and never see each other in a romantic way again, but at the same time, he needed time to get his head around that sort of thing. Seokmin was obviously upset about it, but he didn't try to keep Soonyoung by his side as he clambered off the bed.

It was his own stupid fault for not listening to the niggling little feeling that told him that falling for someone too fast was a mistake. Even though Seokmin had so many good things about him and he was generally a really sweet person, the odds were now stacked up against him and Soonyoung didn't really know how to approach the situation. His entire body felt heavy and numb as he made his way back to his cell, with his head low in hopes that it would prevent any conversation as he walked there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a game to write. I have an annoying little button on the side of my mouse that takes you back a page and my writing website deletes your work if you go back because it doesn't automatically save, so I had to rewrite a huge chunk three times. Hence, it's a little weak bc I was losing my patience so so badly over it. Sorry about that!!
> 
> Anyhoo, the rush is intentional to reflect the rushing of Soonyoung's obsession so I'm sort of not sorry about that bit?? It's three chapters and there's a lot to fit in too aha
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	3. Suzan and James

There was only so long that Soonyoung could avoid Seokmin for before he was forced to interact with him again.

He didn't really want to get too involved with him after the conversation they'd had about his reason for being in prison, but it wasn't like his friends were going to let him flake out now that he was started, even if he wanted to try to keep to himself from that point onwards. They were insistent that Seokmin was a good person and went out of their way to try to get Soonyoung to see that for weeks after he'd decided to back off a bit. Soonyoung did manage to hold his ground for a while, but every time that Seokmin would do something good, they would be straight over to his side, telling him about what had happened. He'd helped one of the older guys in the prison to wash his hair when his arthritis made it difficult to raise his arms for too long. He'd stayed up all night making sure that the food was cooked for the following morning since their food shipment had taken longer to arrive than usual and otherwise, the other staff would need to be up at around four or five in the morning in order to start preparing the ingredients. He'd helped the new member of staff to navigate around the prison and even told them the shortcuts to the guards' room so that they didn't have to waste half of their break trying to find it.

The worse part was the fact that he certainly wasn't doing it for Soonyoung's attention either. He'd quickly given up on their relationship as soon as Soonyoung started to avoid him, having figured that he screwed it up severely by mentioning why he was in prison and accepted the fact that they weren't going to continue what they'd started. It was a risk that he'd had to take, he told their friends, since he couldn't stand the thought of getting several years into a relationship before he finally told him why he was in prison, but naturally, he'd quickly come to realise that he missed his sort-of boyfriend once they had stopped spending time together. One friend, in particular, made sure to remind Soonyoung of that on a regular basis, in hopes that it would convince him to get back with Seokmin, although Soonyoung had tried harder than ever to come up with a string of excuses as to why that wouldn't happen as soon as it was proposed.

Of course, though, it was growing harder and harder with every passing day. Soonyoung's ability to continue avoiding Seokmin was starting to fade whenever he noticed the younger male smiling at something or generally just enjoying his time without him there. He could feel a pang of jealousy starting to hit whenever he thought that Seokmin might have been flirting with someone else, as much as he tried to tell himself that a murderer wasn't good enough for him. It wasn't an ideal relationship and he knew it, but every time he thought about Seokmin pursuing a relationship with someone else instead, he could feel his heart starting to throb with longing.

It was an awful situation. He both wanted Seokmin to be his, and wanted him to be as far away as physically possible. Whilst in the past, he'd always managed to fall out of love with someone rather quickly after the truth had come out about them, he found that that wasn't quite the case when it came to Seokmin. His charms were drawing Soonyoung straight back in and intoxicating him, even when he was just being his typical cheerful self and not even trying to attract his attention. That was even worse than when he went out of his way to capture his interest; Soonyoung had no excuse for staring at him when he was spending time with someone else and he knew it, but he couldn't help wanting to go straight over and let his ex-partner know what sort of things he was doing to him.

In the end, it took around three whole months for him to crack under the pressure and finally talk to him again. It was pretty good going, since his friends had finally stopped trying to pressure him into getting back with Seokmin at that point, but it had felt like forever since they had last talked when they finally faced again. Soonyoung had just got a job working in the laundry room, where he would help other inmates to clean their clothes and make sure that everyone was using the machines fairly, and he had been rather enjoying it up until his ex entered the room with an armful of laundry. Seokmin froze on the spot as he stared at him, but then quickly decided against washing his clothes and instead turned to leave again.

"Wait, there are free machines. You can wash your clothes," Soonyoung called after him in the softest voice that he could manage. He could physically see the shivers running up Seokmin's spine as he heard the way that the words came out, and then the younger male slowly turned around to face him again as he put on the sweetest smile physically possible.  
"Are you sure that it's a good idea for me to do my laundry right now?" he asked, obviously starting to feel rather uncomfortable with the situation, "I was thinking that I would come back in a few hours. I don't have all that much anyway."

Soonyoung stared at him in silence, not knowing what he should say in response. Of course, he wanted Seokmin to stay there with him and chat whilst he let the machine do its job, but he didn't really want to pressure him into staying at the same time. "It's completely up to you," he said, making sure to use the same soft voice. The way he finished the statement made it sound as if he had more to say, which caught Seokmin's attention, and after just a moment he slowly moved back into the room. He'd given in rather quickly; his washing was stuffed into one of the machines and the door was closed in one swift motion. Soonyoung noted how he was even being careful with the machine, even though it wasn't a living person, and he instantly felt his heart clench when he was hit with the reminder of how soft and gentle his ex-boyfriend was.

"Do you want me to go away for a while so you can get back to your work in peace?" Seokmin asked as he made eye contact with Soonyoung again. It was clear that despite the fact that he'd come back into the room to actually do the laundry, he was still feeling a bit awkward about the fact that they were in there together. Soonoyung made sure to put on the sweetest possible smile, though, in hopes that it would show him that he wasn't at all bothered by Seokmin being there, then slowly edged a hand forward to that it almost touched his ex's.  
"Actually I wanted to talk with you, if that's okay?"

Warning sirens were sounding in Seokmin's head, despite his attempts at still seeming friendly and sweet; that much was obvious. He was nervous about the fact that Soonyoung wanted to talk with him, and it was only made worse by the fact that he was gradually moving closer to him. Seokmin must've been expecting him to flip or something, Soonyoung guessed, so he attempted to show that he wasn't planning on hurting him by fiddling with his own hair using his free hand. They made eye contact for much longer than what was usually acceptable, and then Soonyoung finally decided to take the plunge by touching the back of Seokmin's fingers with his own. "I've missed you," he whispered, not knowing what else to say in that moment, but apparently it had been successful in calming him a bit as Soonyoung noticed the tension starting to slip away from Seokmin's body.

"I've missed you too," he confessed, although his face shifted more towards a troubled expression rather than a smile. It was a bit concerning to see, since Soonyoung had expected him to be happy that he was being thought of still. He guessed that Seokmin was expecting the worst, though, despite the fact that he was smiling as he said it to the younger boy.  
"Are you happy that we finally got to meet again?" Soonyoung asked, in hopes that it would encourage Seokmin to speak some more, but unfortunately, it didn't seem to work in a positive way. Soonyoung watched as Seokmin shuffled around awkwardly on the spot, although he didn't try to move his hand away, which was a plus.

"I don't know. I was sort of expecting that you didn't want to see me again, which is why I wanted to wait to do my laundry. I feel as if I'm getting too close to you now, and it's like I'm suffocating you with my presence or something. I don't like that. I'd rather never see you again than make you dislike me even more."

Soonyoung swallowed. He didn't really know how to respond to that sort of comment, especially since Seokmin was being so raw with his emotions in front of him, but he figured that the worst thing he could possibly do was make it feel as if his ex had no reason to feel the way he did. Instead, he decided to simply take one of his hands in his own, guessing that it would be okay since he hadn't flinched away from the previous touch, and then encouraged him to make eye contact again. "Seokmin," he started, although it took a moment for him to think of something to say from that point onwards. There were a thousand different thoughts starting to flood his mind, and he could barely think straight as it was without having to think of how to word his feelings. Eventually he came up with something to settle on, though it was far from ideal.

"Can I kiss you?"

He watched as Seokmin's eyes shifted around on his face, and it was clear that the question just served to make him more anxious. "I thought you didn't like me," he pointed out, and Soonyoung could only really give a shrug in response.  
"I didn't say that I don't like you. I do have to admit that finding out that you killed someone was a little bit of a deal-breaker at the time, but then again, we all make mistakes. I think maybe if this feels right, it might be a sign that it's worth giving it another shot."

Soonyoung didn't even know where that came from. He figured that it was a heat-of-the-moment sort of thing, where he'd made up his mind about it without even realising that he'd done so, and was left just rolling with it now that he'd proposed it. Thankfully, Seokmin gave a little nod before licking his lips in anticipation for the kiss, and so Soonyoung made sure to lean in slowly towards him in hopes that he would back out if he was reconsidering it. After all, it was all well and good Seokmin accepting the request, but he could quite easily decide against it moments later when he realised that things had changed between them. It would have been perfectly understandable, as far as Soonyoung was concerned, although he certainly would have preferred not to be in that situation.

He was lucky. Seokmin didn't move away, and so they ended up sharing a gentle, sweet kiss right there. All of Soonyoung's feelings instantly came rushing back to him as he felt Seokmin smiling against his lips, and it was probably the best thing he'd felt in his time at the prison so far. It seemed ridiculous; the kiss was nothing particularly special, but it left Soonyoung's chest feeling tight from the moment their lips made contact. In a way, he knew that they were meant to be together, and he was absolutely relieved that he managed to get a second chance with Seokmin.

Admittedly, everything did progress quickly again from there. Whilst Soonyoung would have probably wanted to take it slowly after everything that had happened the first time they got together, he was hardly going to reject a request for a heavy make-out session there in the laundry room. He'd been lifted up on top of one of the machines and Seokmin had moved to stand between his legs. It allowed Soonyoung to wrap his calves around the younger male, and it also meant that he was in full control of the kiss. It was perfect and was honestly everything that he could have possibly wished for. He wouldn't have gone back or changed a minute of it, even if he'd been given the chance to do so.

It was like the 'love at first sight' situation all over again but this time, Soonyoung was feeling way more on board with it all.

They tried to keep their relationship low-key from that point onwards, but it was hardly like it was going to last like that. Of course it was going to get out soon enough and naturally, Soonyoung's friends were incredibly excited for them. It was advertised to anyone who would listen, including their friends' families who found out before neither Soonyoung nor Seokmin had finally told their parents about the fact that they were in a relationship.

The issue of coming out to their parents was another issue that they had to tackle as a couple as soon as possible, though. Seokmin ended up going first. He'd told them during one visit, having been incredibly worried that they would end up finding out through someone else otherwise, but he'd been absolutely relieved to find that they were supportive of their relationship straight away. Soonyoung could see them glancing at him over Seokmin and his own parents' shoulders and they were smiling every time they made eye contact, so he supposed that that was good at least. It was as if he was their own kid from the moment that Seokmin had confessed to having a relationship with him. They immediately wanted to have photos of their 'future son-in-law' so that they could show all of their friends, and they even offered to give Soonyoung presents for his birthday and for Lunar New Year. In fact, on the occasions that Soonyoung didn't have any visitors, they ended up inviting him to join them and Seokmin so that they would be able to get to know him. They were lovely people, and he appreciated everything that they did for him in the short time that they'd known him.

His own parents, on the other hand, weren't going to be as easy to talk to about the situation. They were constantly complaining about the fact that Soonyoung had never had a girlfriend and had even made a few snide comments in the past about how they wouldn't be surprised if he'd been putting it off because he was into boys instead. It was said in such a harsh way that he'd been put off mentioning it at any point, and it was just made worse by the fact that they noticed Seokmin's parents glancing over during the visits where they were facing towards them. They made a comment about how they needed to keep their eyes to themselves, and from that moment, Soonyoung knew that it wasn't going to be taken well.

As the months passed and his release date grew closer, Soonyoung found that he was still struggling to talk to them about it. It was becoming painfully obvious that something was up, yet he found that mentioning it was a huge issue. He knew that he'd have to talk about it at some point, especially if they were going to be finding ways to continue the relationship once he was out, but every time he went to tell them, the words would get caught in his throat. It was horrible; he did want to be able to tell them for Seokmin's sake, but at the same time, it was probably the most uncomfortable thing that he could have possibly experienced in his entire life. Soonyoung honestly wanted to drown every time he got close to saying it, and it was just made worse by the fact that they would get impatient with him every time he looked as if he was about to say it. He needed to get on with it and say what he wanted to say, they said; there was no point in wasting time by being awkward about it, and they weren't going to wait forever.

In the end, he wrote them a letter about it. It highlighted the fact that he'd known for a while that he was into guys but then Seokmin managed to steal his heart whilst he was in prison, so he fully intended on making it permanent. Of course, they were going to get out at different points in time because he and Seokmin had committed different crimes, but he wanted to be able to be there for him when he finally got out. They were proper boyfriends by that point, and he wanted to make that very clear to them now that he'd had the guts to finally talk about it.

It hadn't gone well at all, just as Soonyoung had expected. As much as he might have anticipated that sort of reaction, though, it still stung to find out that they weren't happy with his choice to date Seokmin. During the next visit, they made a scene. They could have possibly dealt with it if it was just that he was attracted to other men, but the fact that he was in love with another man from prison was where they drew the line. It was ridiculous and they couldn't possibly believe that it was real love. Either he was to cut off their relationship right there and then, or they would be unable to support him when he finally got out. The choice was his, and they were absolutely certain that they knew what he was going to pick.

Of course, it came as a bit of a surprise to them when Soonyoung simply rejected their request and stood to leave. He promptly asked them to refrain from contacting him again, even if it was supposed to be an apology for how they treated him, and then wished them a good day before leaving the table. It had resulted in a lot of tears on his end, even though he'd tried harder than anything to stop them from falling, and his cellmate ended up inviting him to his bed to cuddle and talk about it. There was no use in holding it in, he said, so he wanted to know everything that happened in hopes that getting it out in the open would make Soonyoung feel better about everything.

It did, to an extent, but Soonyoung still felt like rubbish afterwards. He wanted more than anything for his love to be acceptable, especially after everything that they'd already been through as a couple, but he supposed that he couldn't please everyone. It was just a huge shame, though, since he wanted to please his parents more than anything. They weren't happy that he'd been put into prison in the first place, but a small part of him had hoped that they would have accepted the fact that he was finally experiencing true love for the first time in his life. It was just going to show that his prison family were his real family now.

Their love was something unfavourable but it was love nonetheless, and Soonyoung just wanted to be happy with the man he'd fallen for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how well this chapter has ended up turning out because I was sort of tired when writing it and it moves pretty fast, but there was a lot to fit into 3334 words, so I suppose at least it's concluded??
> 
> The next one in the series is Wonwoo/Mingyu and it's anxiety related
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


End file.
